B, I Miss You

Drown my heart in wine
And I hear a tap on my door
God just let me be fine
What's this life for?

Sail me away
Let me escape
I hear the bells on your sleigh
Fuck you that raped

I will always love you
As you found another door
You see me with such askew
And remember who I am at my core

Fuck You Jim

Look at my wrist
This is what you have done to me
I needed yourself to assist
I fickily thought you were the key

I call you on the phone
And wait for you to exist
With you, I only thwarted, not grew
And that's our relationship, as we coexist

You tainted me
Led me down the devil's path
I should have taken my car and fled
You sit, ponder, and now laugh

EVIL is you!
Drift out to sea
You leave me to sit and stew
Leave me alone, I plea

Trace

Let me trace
Because I can't seem to render what's real
Show me your face
And I really think your the only one that knows how I feel

Justify my pain
Bring me to the brigade
I'm just a sand of grain
And I know your afraid

Hide below my bangs, give me shade
All I see are nooses
I feel betrayed
So what do you deduce?

Bees Knees

Take me through the sun lit sky
And let me elope to the inner crevices of your mind
I wish I could just close my eyes and say goodbye
I just want to say a prayer and be with the divine

Close your eyes
Open your arms
I need you to confide
And with you I'll try not to harm

Shake the trees
Maybe the answers are there
I think you're the bees knees
But know I've got this crux of a cross to bear

You know my earthly worth
Bounce on basketball
Can my soul be unearthed?
I sit still, to try not to fall

Swine

I'm entwined in the swine of defeat
And I can't seem to get down with this feet
I thought I was the party of the elite
Just because I have the disposition of sweet

I want to cut myself again
You don't have to feel kind, my friend
I find solace in pain
And they tell me to join society and just blend

I've got deeep brown eyes that's seen them all
And I perpetually have sleepless nights
Congrats to you I think I've hit a wall
And this life fucking bites!!!

Posh

I'm posh with isolation
And my wounds show my emotions
Unfortunately, as much as I try I'm here for the duration
And oh how I wish I was as fleeting as a promotion

I've turned skinny and fraught with pain
I cut myself to no longer feel
I thus scar and maim
And I don't know how to take this life and deal

Why Lord why?
You've given me too much endurance
All I want to do is to say my goodbyes
And fuck I'm on life's stage and need to act in a preformance

Green Knife

I just cut myself with a green knife
Whats this fucking life for
Is everyone looking out for themeselves to score  
And all i wanted was a new way of life                                                              
Take me away        
                      
I sit here wishing I pressed harder       
Im not a martyr    
I dont think there will be another beautiful day                  
So i may not wake in the morn  i say goodby my friends and more likely to my foes    
I left you with such withering woes  
Im simple minded and now torn                                                    

Call Me Ted

Handcuff me and tie me to the bed
I wish I had serpentine abilities, so I could take this skin and shed
Yes, honestly I got into my car and fled
And despite all my wounds, there was only one thing that made me bled

Why do i internalize hate?
And pine to numb all i feel
Stuck...in a stagnant state
I should take this pain and kneel

I'm like a house that's paint is coming off
And I detest my arms, they remind me of all my self inflicted harm
Sick with a perpetual cough
Hush lets not set of these earthly alarms

They tell me the world is blue and green, but all I see is red
Take my body and nourish me as I fed
I have a weight inside that pulls me under like led
I want to hide behind a varying persona, call me Ted

Onion Layers

What's this all for
Pain is all I feel
I want someone to show me the door
And take my onion layers away peel by peel

Do you just pity me
Am I a project
I drown people by my emotions that break the levee
A mere neo-modern reject

Do all people experience a lull
Or am I merely alone
I feel too much, I think I have too many souls
And I think I hear God calling me on the phone

I want to have a transparent mind
And create goodness from my evils
I do have dreams and aspirations in which I pine
I'm so sorry for all of the bloody upheavals

Neon Midget

Waiting along side a grungy carpet
Feeling shy and unsure
Alleviate this moon lit darkness
I may not be too golden nor pure

But there's one thing I do know
Loneliness deplores my soul
So I attempt to slowly go with the flow
Please don't disappoint me, like Santa with his coal

I wish I was a neon midget
I would have a perpetual excuse
So please give me your digits
And eradicate my need for a noose

Perhaps I lack a use
Or my dreams are too big
I can hold your attention and amuse
Fuck lets take a swig

Fat Face

I smoke too much not to be skinny
I feel like a pauper in my own skin
I pine for the days I was mini
Where I was deemed beautiful and thin

Whats happened to me
Play a song that runs omnipotently through my body
And I'm so uncomfortable just to sit, simmer, and be
I cover up my imperfections with a tinge of gaudy

Red lips hide my fat face
And they tell me stilettos are the bloody key
You"ll shutter if I cover in lace
I just want to be free

Pink Moon

I want the salt water to nullify my wound
And I wish I was a bit more inane so I couldn't feel the world's pain
I really am not that smart, or even less...profound
But I know I'm working with a heart that's sprained

So, which will I be?
I could be nothing or everything
I could make a difference and have a decree
And I could nullify or have feeling

I dream of a pink moon that beckons me
And I wish I could just tumble with the wind
Frolic alongside lemon hill and be free
And fuck the daily grind and have a mind

Life is sobering
There's little room for the gentleness of my soul
But some how, some way I keep on soldiering
Perhaps that's the enlightened goal

Autumn Air

Wrinkled hands
Adorned with a pistachio green finish
I watch you peruse and scan
And I pine for an ability to diminish

Beat on drummer boy
Coddle me with your discrepancies
Was I just a decoy
And what do my actions hold in terms of your penalties?

I waste away in the maze of today
Life can be so simple
Darkness enters and then appears a light of ray
And tell me how you live life without a wrinkle?

Although the porch's rail would juxtapose a noose nicely
I cant give into that blundering thought
I tell you this truth kindly
And we sweep things under the rug, because this is what were taught

Please beware of those that stare
Grasp the autumn air and learn to be free
It's blaringly obvious we must get out of the glare of the lair
Does anyone out there agree?

Beguile

I should be gleaming with happiness
But my smile hides the tears
Broken by the oddities of business
And worried their is no salve that cures

Paint my nails melon
Paint a funny picture
But wonder is all that's pretty is rife with venom
And now I stare at the sun and just blister

Called an old friend
Now turned a foe
She told me I was just a trend
And couldn't stomach me to know

Hold on baby girl, hold my hand tight
I have to leave you every once in awhile
And I know you have an abundance of freights
And don't be alarmed by my appearance its not meant to beguile

Old Poem II. (Well Fucker What's Your Vice)

Why don't I ever fit
I slowly draw like a cigarette that's pseudo lit
Why is there such confusion in my head
At times, I find myself wishing I was dead
Pray for me lord
Play me a harmonious cord
Contemplating what life's worth
Am I simply judged by my ever expanding girth
Resurrect my deplorable soul
Watching as my fears is stuck in an omnipotent lull
Why do I have to be deemed so odd?
Just because I dress a bit mod
Take away this gut retching pain
As I walk through this life like a cripple without a cane
People don't play nice
Well fucker, what's your vice
Trust and believe your no better than I
So hop in the car and say your goodbye
A mere farmer with one tooth
How uncouth
Assess your life
Perhaps we can now live with some more blithe

Old Poem I (Razor Blades of Grass)

Walking through razor blades of grass
I'm being consumed by a malignant mass
Can't figure this thing out like a hatch to a cross stitch
Surrounded by a plethora of people that bitch
Empowered by sweet melodies
Fuck, will I be able to persevere with these felonies
I swear all these people are cannibals
Watching all that manifolds
Relieve this perpetual ache
Never satiated by a mate
Smelling an ozone rife with noxious odor
Wait, the devil could have showed her
Forgetting the dubious allure
Wishing my addiction could be a bit more demur
I find solace in this cigarette
Hearing people retort...go figure it
I want to rise above these ashes like a phoenix
Now I'm crying and need a Kleenex
Oh mother, what a mess
I'm sorry to confess
Uncomfortable in this stationary place
Wearing a run down face
Wishing medicine would cure
But it just closes another door
So answer me whats this all for?
And can I have more
Please give me a solution
And eradicate all of my brain's pollution

Oh Dear

We're all in the dog days of hell
Wishing for the cold autumn chill
Clang, there goes the death bell
It's calling me underneath and I think I'm willing to sell

I've got a propensity for anguish
I call out for youth but I'm greeted by silence
I sit here in my own languish
Please dust off my shoulder and tell the demons to vanquish

I drink coffee wishing it were a beer
I can't nourish my belly because its riddles with ache
I wish I could be catapulted out of the stratosphere
Oh dear hold me because all I have is fear

Tears

Sullen and moist with tears
I can't afford to loose the little I have now
All I have is this bundle of fears
I just want to take my skin and jeer

Elope away from this pain
The day is young and I want to let it fade
Tell me where is my yellow laden brick lane?
Fuck the crutch, give me a cane

Edit and delete this day away
Leave the chalk, and give me the eraser
Hope and pray for a blither day
Just let me go back to sleep, and don't bother me as I lay

Toothache

It's hot
But I'm not dying
Toothache dulls the pain as I'm here lying
I wear a raincoat in the rain, but galoshes I think not

I see your eyes condemn the past
You let me sit, placate, and prate
I'll hold your attention as you sigh in aghast
And wonder if I'll take the temptation of this worldly bait

You cry with color
And you sit somberly like my brother
You laugh at my faint breath as I utter
I tell you there's a Holocaust in my head, and I watch you shutter

Chubby Thighs

It looks like summer
And feels like rain
I need to drink more water, because I'm a bit vain
I tend to adorn a scowl, but inside I melt like butter

Shine on me rain cloud
And let the wind flip my skirt
I eat breakfast for dessert
And I wish my chubby thighs would thwart

Come visit me
In my shrine of Buddha heads and Phoenician dyes
Don't be intimidated by my guise
Come look, come and see

Bur, It's Chilly

A polar bear ate my sandwich
And I let the sun's glare on my glasses fry my brain
I suppose being a vegetarian makes me lower on the food chain
But, because I don't suck the marrow of the bone, I have an advantage

I wear my invisibility in my bangs
Shimmy around with a foolish frown
Didn't you know I was the talk of the town
With a flare for the macabre, while garnishing fangs

Ha, my stance is silly
Standing alone with my lacquered heart
I need to jump start
Bur it's chilly

Parker Family Smog

Damn Mom you wounded my heart
We never went hungry
But, were we ever really a family?
All the while teaching us to live with eyes avert

Dot your I's and cross your T's
Cross my legs and fold my knees
Always say your thank you's and please
And when the going gets tough, you may leave

Living life in a shielded fog
Numb your feelings with money and greed
You let malignancy feed
All the while stuck in the Parker family smog

Sketch My Face

Sadness makes me tender
Eradicate my colorless existence
Stand up to the puny rain; we must live in coexistence
I attempt to sketch my face that my memory can't seem to render

I'm powerless to elicit pain
Dream of the summers past
The clouded future is coming up fast
All the while ducking from the concrete shame

All the things I do leave before their through
Wipe the cluttered sky away
Hold on to me tight without delay
Don't leave me cold wading in the waters of subdue

Laissez Faire; You Don't Wear a Bra

This happening without you
Lying around with my laissez faire theologies
I've got a taste for blood, that would leave you cold and blue
There's intrinsic qualities in the depths of psychologies

That's what happens when you don't wear a bra
Your blood starts to boil and your skin begins to crawl
I took your elbow and began to gnaw
As the waves came alongside the squall

Life's Gluttony

Hey you in the ikat weave
I've got a moldy shoe for you
I was once young and naive
Until I became grounded and got a clue

They tell me to be more assertive
And a smile cures a frown
I need to be more tenable and supportive
And not let life's gluttony continuously drown

My sum's not too large
Fuse me so I may stick
Allow my maliciousness to purge
And get me out of this entangled thick

Precipice of Unworth

Here I am all bruised with ache
The needle called out for my diaphanous skin
And I sat apathetically as my whole world quaked
While my presence was pure dread in a frame of thin

I was walking to hell alive
A slave to earthly withers
Falling to my knees with demise
And God granted me earthly shivers

My boots crushed the earth
And uncovered the darkness of the world
Becoming the precipice of unworth
I seized, snatched, and gnarled

Slap in the Face

Public taste is a slap in the face
Ride the tiptoes of a wave just to caress the moon
The sky is too big; I feel displaced
Perhaps I'll crack a smile at the stroke of noon

Do you think my baggage weighs me down?
Or do I just possess an inflamed brain?
In my head there's an army of zealots that live around
They show no mercy, just bestow pain

Man, there's no escape
Drink up the night time light
Swaddle me in an insouciant cape
And give me the might to be alright

Juxtaposition

I've got a sartorial smile
And its buttoned just for you
I've got a pneumatic lifestyle
And you've got a tendency to spew

I appreciate your askance
While I sit in a languid stance
And you take my heart and tap dance
Oh, lets take a winded chance

There's something in the juxtaposition...
Something shiny next to something destroyed
So I ask you whats your position
Don't let your heart wane to null and void