Today

I don't think I will ever see your face again
The last goodbye you uttered is your final word to me
Let us be honest, this is the end
So, I will acquiesce...and just let you be

But I ask you kindly, please
During this epoch, don't come knocking at my door
I am preparing to take these emotions, the one's for you, and freeze
Take this relationship, tuck it up tightly, while vanquishing it to the bottom drawer

Never to be seen again
United by one moon, yet we are billions of stars away
As a result, my fragile heart has become more confined and enchained
Today is/was the last time we will speak, and that day was today

Wounded

Accompanied by a wounded heart
And a wounded soul
Today I have broached a new start
Yet the past has taken its toll

Bottomless treasure trove
Or an empty beauty
A life packed up and unable to use the stove
I must learn to discard the high-brow, and displace the connotation of moody

Together we are out of tune
Heathered by gravity
No longer will there be you and me
I'll get better; eradicate all of my depravity.....How about you?

Injected

At times, I wish I could scratch away my malignancy
And now your number is disconnected
As far as I run, I can not escape delinquency
Consequently, I detest the veins I injected

Curl up into a ball and hide
Escape from this evolutionary demise
Good and evil, in my life, have surely collided
All you see and hear are my gut wrenching cries

Cold like an Eastern European languish
And, surely, I prefer isolation
Truly, I want to eradicate this mental anguish
And, I pine to see divinity within reincarnation

Tell your family I say hello
I know I have crossed the line and gone below
They recommend I hang in tightly, and go with the flow
Subsequently, will I thwart or grow?

Aqua Socks

Who the fuck gets aqua socks
Riddled by a luminous mess
So, grab a hold and take stock
How could I ever achieve less?

You really don't want to know where I go
I tend to venture into the left corner of my mind
Sure, as much as I try, I'm not your average Joe
Nor am I part of the archetypal design

Eradicate this red feeling
Stop my self inflicted hostility
I believe it is now time for me to start healing
I must attempt to make this cold world softer, and create, for myself, some viability

Make Things Right

Joy, apparently is in the air
And yet I still feel imprisoned by these walls
Thus, I've learned life isn't fair
I think people like to watch me as I fall

I now feel odd in your surroundings
And regardless of Christmas, you still feel distant
All the while the zealots in my head are perpetually pounding
I must conclude...I'm fed up with your act of resistance

You trick me into thinking I am beautiful, even though I am not
Despite, I enjoy holding you so tight
My past waivers, and to both of us it takes a piece of us and rots
I wish I could just hold you, and make things right

The wind slowly creeps up, and sends shivers down my back
All in the world is false
I attempt to adorn a parka, but the world seems black
All the while visibility denotes my faults

Guilt beckons me as you laugh
So, cough up validity of the day
Feel the golden wrath
And I wish I wore death upon me, so I couldn't see gray

Are you a kind soldier or a beast?
Your silver juxtaposes me nicely
I know I have not established myself as deceased
Thus, just cut me off inevitably so concisely

Dart

Must I lock the door
And keep you far away
I feel as though I have become a chore
And know, everyone is alone I must convey

Stop trying to make me laugh
I'm just a fraction of a whole
Thus, please don't speak on my behalf
I have become an individual you can not seem to control

It suffers me to cherish you
....That is the truth
Stop using your spectacles to view
And I know how I am so uncouth

I tend to have cold hands
And, too, perhaps a cold heart
I watch you take a position of erect; as you stand
And as the thunder clamors, I watch you as you dart

Weight of Smoke

The cloud cover encapsulates me
As I pensively attempt to walk away
As usual, I will inevitably pack my bags and flea
Subsequently, back on stage as your display

Know, eventually, I will slip back into myself
And tell me...am I worth the weight in smoke?
Doesn't isolation reach every one's oneself?
Feeling imprisoned on your yoke

My veins grew like weeds
Swelling ensued
No one knew I was in need of prayer beads
Clearly, as a result of my past, I detest how I am viewed

Rootless

Would problems be solved with a punch in the face?
Or would I be happier with an incurable disease?
Come on, nullify my place in space
I've determined, my inevitable ending is to displease

I have become a tree without roots
Too timid to roam the streets; because I have always been eschewed
My labor doesn't seem to bear much fruit
Thus, I tend to hide beneath the covers and seclude

I own the fact I have hidden cracks invisible
So stop your laughing
I pine to fade into black, and yet be adorable
So please stop your bullshit and acting....Just for me, please

Small

The stars come out
And beckon me as they call
The leaves congregate by my door like a Christian devout
And I feel scant and small

Bang my fist against the wall
Come inside and make me fine
In this life I strive to be less banal
Thus go ahead and drink some more wine

I want to tear my skin into gaping holes
God only knows, I have tried to be a good girl
And guilt has become my vitality's control
Despite what you may think; I man am an oyster without a pearl

27

I never thought I would live past twenty seven
A place rife with strife and incompetence
Neither did I think I would make it to heaven
And I know you believe I'm incompetent

I use to be vital and beautiful
Now I'm just a composite of dirt
Denoted by my struggle
Acknowledge the police and avert

For I have become a stranger within this prison
Kept between faith and reality
Stuck in an omnipotent addiction
And now we have no commonality

I wish I was deaf
And my candles burn at both ends
You're just indifferent
So what does society tend?

Fuck your old friends
Go to Canada and join a gang
I'm just to you a dead end
And I heard you in the distance as you're drum clangs

The Night

Roll me over a new life
Though the night is for sleep and dreams
I can not seem to get past this strife
And everything is not as it seems

Exhausted by auctions of lies
Where has my box of love gone?
Please don't choose me to chastise
Or call on me to fawn

Will you recognize me in hell?
Your inconsistency is not to care
Don't be frightened; I know how to wrap an object impaled
 So just show me underneath how you tear; and I will be there

Defenestrate

I have an affinity for orange juice and cheese
I have all of this medication that will not ease
All you do is tease
So take my heart strings and tweeze

I miss my family
I feel as though I no longer belong
You grin and bear me angrily
I know I have done so much wrong

Can't seem to sleep
I wish upon a star you were here
Now all I seem to do is weep
While omnipotently consumed by fear

Take me away from this hell
Escape via defenestration
I just want to be well and have these feelings quell
And yet you want to renew me like a fenestration

Hurting Heart

My heart hurts
You were here and yet left
I am alone on a desert
And I feel as though you've performed a theft

Shove me to the abaft of your litany of events
Steal my kisses away
You enter in and out of my life through segments
All the while I pine for you each day

Let the cold rain cleanse my soul
I will always provide the shoulder you cry upon
For you, I want to be complete and whole
So lets make this work, come on

I have subsequently been signing the blues
And just hearing your voice makes me cry
Now, my inner depths of my soul have been left bruised
However, I just can't release my grasp, and say goodbye

Leave Me

I can not seem to render the face I once knew
Draw, trace, and contemplate...yet nothing comes from it
Whatever is within my reach, must be within my view
Thus, just be honest and admit it

And yet you continuously mess with my heart
Please stop these feelings
Nonetheless, without you I must restart
Your love will never be able to reach my high ceilings!

Place you in front of the mirror
Tell me, do you honestly like what you see?
It creates tension further away from me, not nearer
So just say you will leave me...please

S. Parker I Do Love You

Drama
Fucking ridiculous
Its a bloody problem
Your bullshit is frivolous

What commitment
Try to alleviate your pain
I just want you to listen
Please don't tap into that vein

Tidbits of truth
Call yourself out on things
I know you pine for youth
What will this life for you bring?

Hospital Socks!!!! HA

Adorning hospital socks
Remnants of my past
And now my heart locks
I am like a fishing line you may easily cast

Experiencing omnipotent pain
It's eating me alive
Thus, it will be difficult for me to abstain
I have no choice...must trust in the future, and subsequently thrive

With or without you...
I have always been in a state of survival
Now, pondering the epoch of my debut
And I do not want to get down with life's inevitable spiral

Vice

My past has bruised me
Like an old freckled banana on it's way to the trash
I pine for my future...to be free
And I ask you to alleviate my malice to ash

Unearth my mouthly stitches
Please allow me to be an individual, and speak my mind
Perhaps, one day, I may alleviate myself from rags to emotional riches
Now, I am left alone...and yet still entwined

Nothing is merely black and white
And yet simplicity and understanding would be so nice
I wish you could crawl into the inner depths of my soul and discover my plight
But, I knew inevitably, piece by piece, you would be tenable to my vice
....................................So sorry

Don't Read

You're like a poorly concocted mixed drink
Sweet to the taste, and yet rough on the belly
All you do is contemplate and think
And now you have left me feeling dirty

I can't even write I am so upset
But Ben and Jerry have always been there to heal my heart
Am I just a cavernous threat?
Or perhaps I know too much, and simply too smart

Fuck no; these are my coping instincts
I wish I was someone else for you
Obviously, now you must be absent
And I pine for the day we can just get through

Delinquent me
Banish my soul
For you, as much as I love, I just want to flee
You know I am too fucked up for you, and thus you can't console

Red Sky

The red sky
Harbors some cool cool rain
Although I can not seem to cry
I gape at the blood that perpetually flows through each vein

You give me the look of death
With your cold eyes
I ache with every breath
And again I wont be able to rise

I have witnessed malignancy
Thwarted by poor choices
Thus, I pray to the trinity
Just pleading to a higher being to hear a shred of my voice

Broken

Broken...
Thrown into a state of disarray or confusion
And I ask you politely; don't walk all over me because I am soft spoken
And please don't laugh at my comfort ability in seclusion

I tend to be stoic and isolated
I dream of the day I can be more like you
The root of your ambivalence is from being frustrated
But please try not to make me so blue

I have been absent for many moons
Simply stifled by bad news
So lets dissuade our differences and listen to some good tunes
And just let me be your clown to amuse

Drums

The shades slowly hum
And my hands become alive
I'm haunted by your drums
And its our relationship I want to strive

Pen to paper
I really just want you here
So stop being a faker
So find me the common cure

So sniffle this shit up
Stop focusing on the bad
Take the depravity I have to scrub
And legitimately I am sick of being sad

Legitimately stop being so morose
You know I am tormented by my past
So take this door and close
And please know that you shouldn't mess with me, because this world is vast

Goodbye

I wish I could be mesmerising just to you
I try to sing like a good canary
But all that is good in my world falls through
And I get that all of this may be too scary

I feel like I am wasting your time
So I must retract
Because its you that's at your prime
And as you have mention, I merely have a heart of black

So today I attest
I will step away
You're free from my shackles; free to move on with your worldly quest
And hey, don't worry about me, perhaps I will adapt to my shade of grey

Fight

Escapism
Is to write
Living in my own prison
Is an attempt to fight

But brawl with whom?
An outsider or myself?
I want to bloom and fight the inevitable tomb
I want to roll up my sleeves and fight to come to yourself

And I know you fight to avert
And you're caught between my depravity and gentleness
But, I promise to leave you unhurt
Please don't be caught in the perceptions of other's nebulous

Dappled Dreams

It's simple
I miss you
And as you know, my disease has rendered me crippled
As the question lingers in your head, I am who?

You have become cold
Brought on by the winter's chill
I know you have experienced the epoch in which the Devil took a hold
And yet, now after released from evil, you continue to wish ill will

You now merely exist in my dappled dreams
And I am haunted by your delight and goodness
What exists on the outside isn't all it seems
I just wish I could live amongst your world of righteousness

Roman Ruins

Tell me how much of this world is mine to keep?
My fate has become what I mostly fear
Please don't give me too much, I tend to get overwhelmed and weep
As I contemplate year after year, I increase my tears

How do I solve this?
As my life now lives amongst Roman ruins
I am attempting to not jump through this world's omnipotent abyss
And yet, how can I prevent these thoughts, especially after all of my doings

I feel as though I live life in factions
Emotions and actions of good, bad, and indifferent
Thus, I must stand up and take action
But does anyone truly care?  Or have an interest?

Perpetual Rain

There's a scratch at my door
And I find myself clutching to life during the afternoon; it truly is the time it hurts the most
I am not like a silk teddy you can discard to the Bordeaux's drawer
And you know more than I, my demeanor tends to be a bit morose

Tell me, do you truly care?
Or am I just an edifice of sexuality?
You traipse around me because of my blackened heart; you think you must beware
Clearly my tenderness has become your reality

Please tell me what your understanding of what life is for
Is it just to be utterly debilitated by inner pain?
It's life gnawing ache I can't simply ignore
I dream of the sunshine upon me... I am sick of the perpetual rain

Collapse

There has been a collapse of effervescent youth
Truthfully, it no longer exists here
This is the reality of my truth
And because of my choices i have collapsed upon a lower tier

Tragically I must live with this malignancy
That has collapsed my dusty heart
And the soundtrack of my life is played by a depressed sympathy
All I want to do is take this all and avert

How many individuals have collapsed between homelessness and intelligence
Mistakes that have marred an angel's name
And now I sit stoically like an edifice
Simply rife with blame and shame

Collapse, open my hands, insert my face, and begin to cry
I wish there had been an angel installed upon my shoulder
I pray one day I can accept myself with a relieving sigh
I pine for the day that my past is simply over

Tremble and Shake

I tremble and shake
Especially for what my past has done
Now I must face my fate
But understand I can't deal with an iota more of communal shun

I tremble and shake as I sit
Deliberating Manic Mondays fate
Swallow my discrepant past, like a flame it enters my vacant belly's pit
Will I ever get out of this mess, or is it simply too late?

I tremble and shake about my fate
Understand I was then extremely sick
I now attempt to walk on a path of straight
Thus I plead to the heavens not to blow out my flame; to leave me without light...just the candle's wick