Lost and Found

Everyone is afraid of their life
Some duck for cover, while others puff out their chests
Regardless all of us have strife
And no one is the best

You hear a melancholy tune and I swoon
If your in the weeds, flowers still bloom
Come shield me from doom and gloom
I'm within your lenses zoom

I may be aloof, but I hear every sound
I've let my intellect hinder me
I've been lost, and now found
Enough of this debauchery

Antarctica

I think I see the moon and Antarctica
It's cold outside, I think I want to stick to you
I hear you beckon me with your harmonica
You could help thwart my feelings of blue

I watch as the angels fall around you
My heart will mend, its true
Grateful for your introspective view
Hold on tight, and wait for my debut

I think I want to go back to sleep
Emotions sometimes accrue and multiply
I'm not going to lye, some days I weep, and others I reap
So sing me a lullaby

Daughter's Dance with Death

Living a life where your brothers become a foe
And your mother awaits with baited breath
A family withered by woe
As a daughter danced with death

She lost all faith and trust
Became the talk of the town by her negative ways
A symbolic figure of disgust
As they sat and prayed for her to return to the old days

A nomadic traveling wanderer
Will she ever return?
Perhaps she will be able to again conquer
Burn her previous life and adjourn to learn (from her mistakes that robbed her past)

Don't want to Eat

I don't want to eat
The future scares me
I wish I could drive through life from the back seat
And eradicate all of this debris

I'm afraid to fail
But its entirely too late for that
So lets strip away the veil
I've already fallen on my ass flat

Pick myself up
Dust myself off
Find some body scrub
And clean myself off

Life in Remiss

The devil was wearing my shoes
Don't look in the mirror I can't seem to stomach my face
There's a perpetual hum in my ear; its singing the blues
I'm drifting out to sea, I can't find a stationary place

There's opium in my veins
And nothing but numbness in my brain
Save me before I get slain
From all of this self inflicted pain

Take the wiper blades and clear this fog
Life must be better than this abyss
It's not pleasant when the devil becomes your guard dog
Living a life in remiss

Defrost

Satiate my belly
Fill me with coffee and cigarettes
I'm no longer so deadly
But I'm still hard to forget

Make me laugh
And I'll adjust
Take the sheep; leave the staph
And warn me when I start to tarnish and rust

When I was young I had it all
Somewhere in between yesterday and today I lost
Now I'm back, I may have to crawl
I've been frozen, but always can be defrost

Breeze Penetrates My Knees

I've bought to borrow
I opened the door and nothing appeared
Just the cold embrace of sorrow
And away you've veered

Stillness was then broken
By me, the neophyte, and my silence
I know you can hear me amidst my tone of soft spoken
And my retribution is not an act of defiance

So, I may walk with a shimmy and shake
Letting the breeze penetrate my knees
I may have tears in my eyes, but it keeps me awake
And so as my story unfolds, I'll get there...Just wait and see

Coffee Shop

Where's the nearest coffee shop
Because I don't want to cross the road
You look cute with your mop top
And I thank you for the humility you've bestowed

You say my life is empty
I think yours is void
You believe I'm a bit desperate
And now you've dug a little too deep; I'm annoyed

I wish I had a metal heart
But you've secured me in, and I'm waiting for the parade
Your life has got a head start
And now you've ignited a fire within my head's arcade

Early Morning

Its early morning
And my legs are tired
I hear the sirens blaring their warning
And its you that inspires

Heavens coming home
Give me a fix to put me asleep
And Hells covered in chrome
Fuck! This journey is steep

We are decades away
Pining for a cloudy day
The fire in my heart is here today
I wish I could display my emotions to you, and just stay

Plastic Shovel and a Butter Knife

Your in a funk
And I'm in a mood
You took the Kool-Aid and got drunk
While I entered into a devil's feud

Rigormortis has set into my brain
While you've taken a jet plane to a new life
You armored me to get slained
With a plastic shovel and a butter knife

I take the DART bus
And you take the train
Look at my life with a disdain of nonplus
While I admire you and all of your fame

Makeshift Pedestal

I"m in a fit of rage
Someone stole my purse, and I just can't be saved
I'm on a makeshift pedestal; take me off this stage
Give me some medicine and I'll be well behaved

You don't know where I am going
And I don't know where you've been
Take the Devil's hand and you'll end up owing
Much to everyone's chagrin

I'm just a runner up in this gambit of life
Not domineering enough, and polite too much
My past did steer me to become the Devil's wife
So can you cure me with your soft touch?

Melancholy Wane

What do the waves have to say
Am I sinking again
I'm trying to take despair and slay
Make my melancholy wane

Bring me to the ocean's surface
Create a new way of living
Try not to live in the past, but the current
And abide by the laws of forgiving

Treat mankind for what it is
Breath in the earthly air
What's mine is yours, and all is essentially His
And hopefully then we may nullify despair

Beautiful Anomaly

You leave me wanting more
Try to drown out your calls
I want to shut the double doors
And yet pour from your walls

So I sit and wait for the rain
Fill me up, just to weigh me down
It's not your fault I'm in utter pain
Or that I would leave the smile and take the frown

It's all a bitter sweet melody
Like an inharmonious mess
Yet with you, its a beautiful anomaly
Shit, it's bliss; wait a minute let me put on a dress

Nearest Pew

Don't ask why they say
Just do
Then again just pray
And bequeath yourself to the nearest pew

Holy Fathers relieve me of this ache
There's a gnawing in my head I just can't shake
And keep me steadfast and awake
For goodness sake

Lay down restless on a sleepless night
Feel the moon on my back, and dawn's sun on my face
Dear Lord hear my plight
And grant me a scintilla of your grace

Obtuse Angle

There's a crowd outside
And an army in my head
I thought I found you to confide
By that nearly left me dead

Shadows of the past wane away with time
But you, my dear, will not fade so easily, I fear
I can write about you with a rhyme
And turn my nose up in the air at you, and give you a sneer

Underneath my pristine exter, there's a light
Shining ever so bright like a lonely flame to a candle
And despite my flaws, I may not be pure white
But for your skinny self, I'll be your obtuse angle

Doo-Wop of the Soul

I've got a bit of doo-wop in my soul
I feel like hope is a skip and a jump away
Let's make some laughter, and spike the punch bowl
And adorn a swing dress with a bouffant and some hairspray

I'm back to my old self
With love for the vintage and a smile on my face
I've relinquished the ice back to the shelf
Lets take some paper and retrace

There's fire under my feet
And moonlight on my back
Shield me from this heat
But no longer a beast adorned in black

Victory is to be taken
Brick by brick learn to rebuild
I've been shaken and awakened
And I see the future glimmering with all of its gild

Spider

A spider caught in surpitude
Alone he placates at the moon
Wishing for a beach and a dune
Hoping to retract back to his cocoon

Dissidence follows us at dusk
Caught up in the hair of a corn's husk
Sit, you must not fuss
Its not love, it's modern day lust

Shut the bloody door
Hit the cold and love the floor
We will one day return to the shore
I just ask for a bit more

With each brazen breath
I think of death
And grimace at each known theft
Please hear me, don't pretend to be deaf

Pompous Girl with a Prophetic Pro

Dead leaves on the dirty ground
I've got a cigarette and sushi on the brain
I can swim, but I tend to drown
On a sunny day I pray for rain

I'm a pompous girl with prophetic pros
And I've got a pose for you
I'm a thorn without her rose
But look at the nuances of my hugh

Damask in black
I'll swallow you whole
Proprieties I fail to lack
But I'll take you where the death bell tolls

And at night I come out in the light of the moon
Radiant but a ghoulish sight
My servitude looms
But caution awaits you if I give you all my might; especially at night (by the moon)

Heroine

Heroin, no heroine of mine
It's about time for some goodbyes
For now if I see you, I must decline
Oh how we have had some good times, you flew me to heights so high

All the while I became a trivial junkie
Like a common sheep caught in your herd
You packed me a lunch and I became chunky
In the ghettos I frolicked amongst the birds

You asked me how I felt
The truth is I failed to
I wasted away in a bed as I melt
Living each day so blue

I took a needle, and left the thread
Wasted away with the time
And only for you I bled
I became a modern day war crime

Together We March

We march together us souls in pain
Where the prison walls become a reality
Its not for the takers with hearts of fain
Amongst us a shadow follows with it's depravity

My pain became a numbing feel
Stuck in the creepy vessels of my brain
Bars hide our faces to conceal
Disrespected for your actions too inane

Outcast and downtrodden
A tumor of malignancy grows
Can't allow the space to lessen the horizons we've broadened
We're in the devil's lair in the jaws of throws

Riot in Rehoboth

Riot on the streets of Rehoboth
There's no water to be had
Infect me with your poisonous snaggle tooth
That's precisely why we have rehabs

Damn, there's a good vein
Fun follow me in toe
But that would cause all of this utter pain
And that would be a tragic show

Scratch and gnaw
There's an open door
My nails are trained to claw
Watch you shutter, fall to the floor; there just can't be anymore

Such a Crime

Running in the heat
Trying to get away from this disease
There's dissidence out in these streets
All are ill at ease

Open up your mind
We're out of time
Be so inclined
And give a pauper a dime

Recognize a familiar face
Hear his sweet melodious rhymes
From your memory you can erase
Oh you, it's such a crime

Yellow Face of Doom

In the cave of black despair
I've become part of the devil's brigade
I wear the yellow face of doom to scare
Let the leaves cover me, I need some shade

The weak kill with a kiss
And the strong with a blade
And the gaping grave is void of a semblance of bliss
While the bars symbolize how I've disobeyed

I hear the cackling of the crow
It beckons me beneath the earth
Hear my anguished cries of woe
Tell me what's my empty life worth?

Little Belly

Turn on the bright lights
I now have a little belly
Be careful the jaws of hell do bite
But they taste good with some raspberry jelly

Elope to the inner workings of my heart
The miners are working hard to dig up my lost soul
And answer me this, can you buy benevolence at the local mart?
Because my good and evil need a place to be consoled

Kicks with a Bit of Traction

Dress me up in a sweet heart neckline
But I still taste tart
With skinny fists I send shivers up your spine
Punch the clutch in and give life a kick start

I see the sun up ahead on a gloomy day
Break free from the prison of clouds
Clasp your hands tight and lets pray
We're all individuals amongst a populous crowd

Freedom comes with action
And from action an alleviation of despair
I hope my kicks have some traction
Because this is simply my cross to bear

Cupie and Low

Demon days crept in nice and slow
Splash that jagged little pill down with some water and a stick
Answer me this, where can I get some blow?
Euphoria will be here in one prick

Watch my eyes become cupie and low
Glazed in a haze of eternal oblivion
I think I see the neon vacancy sign of hell as it glows
Stay in this state or deal with reality; where's the decision?

Wince at the pain and then instant delight
I think I see all that glitters is now gold
My skin turns pallid, and then ghost white
Watch as the devastation unfolds

Muffin Tops with Coffee Roll

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes
Take a peaceful girl and rob her of all her wealth in gold
I'm in a bovinity divinity and all you hear are my moos
All the while allowing me to chill, and my soul turns cold

Deception has become your cunning disease
Move over muffin top, I've got a coffee roll
I'll put your mind at ease
While the garnishment on the death bell tolls

Look, jets align
Creates a path of depravity
Eat my fruit, then spit out the rhine
As my hallow heart becomes an even bigger vacuous cavity

Convenience Store

Sell ambition at the local convenience store
Where failure lays in the foyer
Buy a ticket all the while a little unsure
Just to become a neo-modern Tom Sawyer

Purchase your daily dose of energy by the pill
Hand in a penny as an act of solidarity
Toss your soul over the counter like a bill
And win in the ranks of popularity

Eat a hot dog
Wash it down
Stay lost in a mediocre fog
To still reside in the dog pound

Prison

Four weeks in a prison
Had no friends of mine
Take a knife and make an incision
Because all this world does is confine

Pine for the old stage of a past life
And tuck your head, because you don't want to know me anymore
For me, I hear the gates of hell playing their fife
Oh, this worlds just an open sore

Observer

I'm an observer from the window pane
Stuck in this melancholy seat
What's here to keep me sane?
This seems to be a gargantuan feet

Run girl, run; get out of this town
Shadows of the past creep in nice and slow
My lips part and turn into a frown
Why am I living in this agony the gods have bestowed?

Dress me up, but I'm still down
Asking myself why I am still here
Put on some make up, but still look like a clown
Sleepless nights, because all I have is fear

Homesick for who I use to be
I can't bear to hear anymore cacophony
Let the judge and jury hear my plea
But I'm warning you, you won't be able to stand me

The Soul Pays

I've become a trivial comedy
For serious people
Plagued by tragedy
And ruined by the needle

Come visit me in my haze
Dress me up, but I'm still the same
You'll always have money, because the soul pays
And I will go out quickly, like a candle to a flame

Mint and Marigolds

Death followed me as I walked in the sunlight
And I came to a garden  of mint and marigolds
I listened as you harmonized your plight
And we talked of how my soul had been bought, bartered, and sold

I gasped and thought of how tired I'd become of hearing my own name
And how I became a face without a heart
Downtrodden by defeat and shame
You told me not to worry, my life could have a new start

I watched as you drove your car through my street of pain
Posing as a character that fails to suit your aim
Holding onto a future I may not be able to attain
My soul is a terrible reality of this game

Beer and a Bible

I need a beer and a bible
I'm affected by the seven deadly sins
Your words cut, and seem so final
They cut underneath the skin

To define is to limit
And to be a skeptic is to have faith
I'm searching for peace by the minute
Baptize me clean, and had me a loo fa as I bathe

Failure is thrust upon the weak
And your pretty face was bargained for the devil's fee
I listen silently as you speak
And become lost in your omnipotent sea

Innocent Blood

The cold rain began to fall
And I pine to buy oblivion
Silence became a loll
My memory was eating my vision

Wishing for my old sins to be destroyed by new ones
And here emerges my ugliness into reality
The weight of my life is collected by the ton
And death has come knocking at the door as I scream for mortality

My innocent blood has been spilt with one prick
Now I'm in the dreamy shadows of a song
Monotony of the disease has come quick
And I hear the whisper of the devil say, "Here, come along..."

Secret Stash

God Bless you as you sneeze
I've got a thief's disease
I'll have you buckling at the knees
Just say the magic words, please

Release me from your grasp
Oh how I adore your voice of rasp
Come on pass me that hash
I know you've got a secret stash

Inured by this heat
And the crippling words of defeat
Just like I met my dealer in the street
I am sewn shut just like a box pleat

Ali Baba's Mistress

Every comedy holds a tragedy
And the future will be the same as the past
Gravity pulls me towards a calamity
Fuck, the whole worlds going to crash

Fire burns my eyes
And I gather the harvest in the spring
I wear my pallid face to disguise
And carry my anguish like a dwarfed arm in a sling

I hold the greatest contempt for optimism
And I am precociously listless
I'm stuck in this malignant prison
All the while becoming Ali Baba's mistress

Harp When I Die

No one's going to play the harp when I die
Your life was well worth mine
There will be joyous smiles, and no one will cry
I've fucked the ability to ever be divine

Stuck in a labyrinth of the grimy streets
Carry the black hands of jealousy
Grace was yours, mine was deceit
I was worth more than my felonies

I bear the brunt of your crocked teeth
Like gauze to a remedy
I wear the thorns on Jesus' wreath
Just to grant me a little more longevity

Cheese For Breakfast

I eat cheese for breakfast
And toast for lunch
I'll fumble you and leave you breathless
Go ahead and take a big crunch

I'm the cute girl with glasses, whose destroyed the masses
Just turn on your TV, and listen to the APB
I seep in slow like molasses
Just stay with me and you'll see

I've withered gold into gray
And cut life into pieces of your song
You should have walked away
I'm just the scribble amongst the throngs

Sibyl

Oh shit, reality has just entered the room
My name is Sibyl, Sibyl Vane
Punctuality is the thief of time, and our inevitable doom
It looms, and I'm crux upon a crucible of pain

I'm a sinner with splendid sins
Out of my secret pocket crept my soul
Free my soul from this prison and let me win
I hate this stage, but I've got to play this role

You look at me with such disdain
And speak with a touch of cruelty of the mouth
So what, I sow poppies in my garden with the summer rain
Do all evil things point south?

Life came between us
You with an idealistic future, and me with a tinge of cynicism
I fell into the habits of distress
While you practiced recidivism

Miss

Don't call me miss
I'm not your brother or your mother
I'm in a haze of the abyss
Smothered by a stifling big brother

I'm like chewing tobacco
Just use me up and spit me out
I'm not sweat like your hot cocoa
I'll fill your soul with doubt

Catholic school taught me how to be naughty
How to escape reality as it comes alive
This is a true story
Of how the deprived survive

Bruised

I'm black and blue just from thinking of you
Suffering from a bruised ego
You need to find another soul to pursue
I'm just your modern day zero

Fruitless and barren
All my crops reap weeds
An unkempt house left abandoned
No longer with needs to feed

Stunted by the past
With a vacuous present
I'm a stark contrast
I'm a woman with a plethora of dents

Don't Look Back

I'm on the run again
Too comfortable for my own good
I've sucked everything dry, and now its drained
Leave it all behind, as I stood

Don't look back
It's all in the past
Hear the sound of my heels as they claque, and leave a residue of black
The future's open and vast

Don't remember me
Decimate all I've touched
You'll finally be free
Released from my dubious clutch

Squatter

Where's this place called home?
Because I've burned every bridge for miles
I'm left to alone roam
Through all of life's trials

Submerged under water
Brought far out to sea by the current
I'm no longer someones daughter, but a squatter
Simply I'm a tenable nightmare recurrent

Haze

Sit in silence
And wonder where my mind went
Stick a needle in my arm
What's the harm?

Scare you
I may turn blue
Regret everything about me
Just let me be

Clear as day
Remnants of me have faded away
I'm in a haze of blue and red lights
Fighting with all of my might

Eradicate the memory of me
Leave me out to sea
Find another bohemian dweeb
That's more hip than me

Nine O'Clock

It's nine o'clock
And I can't stop my thoughts of you
I knock, but your hearts locked
I want to put you in que

Run through my head
And visit me in my dreams
It's night time I dread
Because these feelings are extreme

I want to singe my memory
Erase you from my mind
I want my heart empty
Please just tell me you've resigned

Dwell in Hell

Read the sign
There's no vacancies here
If you say Hi, I must decline
I'm just too weird

My soul is black
My eyes are vacuous saucers
I'm a clogged artery, rife with plaque
I simply have nothing to offer

I don't fight or flight
I can't mumble or yell
All I know is I will bite
Because I dwell in this living hell

Heat

Beads of sweat coagulate
Come wither away in this heat
Hear my heart palpitate
This game you play has become obsolete

Watch as the sun hides from us
It's time to put the fire out
I feel the world's stress
I must figure out a new route

Splenda

Oh hello there cute curly haired boy
Come sit by me
I'm the real McCoy, but know I will destroy
Pay me with smiles for a small fee

Underneath my sweetness I'm a bit sinister
Strip away my exterior, I'll prove myself to you
It could be 100 degrees outside, but I have the chill of winter
I'll turn your heart icy and blue

Know I'm just like Splenda
Syrupy sweet, yet bad for you
You'll say, "I can mend her"
But if you only knew

Ugly

Imprisoned by a striped dress
And hide my ugliness with a lipstick named Bordeaux
Know underneath I'm revolting, I must confess
Fraught with cover up in the common dress of the Bourgeois

Peel back the layers
Or put some color on my cheeks
I have proven right to all my naysayers
They gave me all but two weeks

Pearls can't make me pretty
Neither can the weight of gold
I've turned into everyone's pity
Jaded, tarnished, and old

Hedonist Mindset

Light light, your too bright
Cloak me with a darken cape
Put me in a ring, I'm ready to fight
Watch as all who observe gape

Swallow the pain whole
Retract those wet tears
Loneliness will be the only one to console
So now there's nothing left to fear

Turn off your phone
No one cares
We are venturing out in the unknown
Stick your nose up in the air, and pretend you have a sense of heirs

Blind them with your eyes of daggers
And snicker with a hedonist mindset
Watch as they all falter and stagger
Your again a huge threat

Cankle

Swollen like a bestial women's cankle
Smothered by this life too cold
Watch out or you might get trampled
By my weight twofold

I have obesity of the heart
I want too much, and can't have enough
I wish you could be my metaphoric dessert cart
One where I could take my face and stuff

I desire you like a famished kid
Starved for your attention
Encapsulate you with a Tupperware lid
So I may gain in dimension

Jaded

I smoke too much
But I don't bleed enough
I'm an inner wound that cuts
And a pesky stain on your sleeve's cuff

Crack me open like an egg
Let the yoke bleed
Hear me yelp and beg
I'm too frail indeed

Pluck my feathers one by one
Leave me stark and naked
This life is no longer fun
Perhaps I have just been too jaded

Pistol

All I hear is silence
Oh what a game
You make me want to be mindless
I know I have created such shame

Blush in the winter's chill
Throw on a sweater and muffle the peace
Why the fuck did I use my free will
I disturbed the inner beast

Snow flakes cry at my cheeks
I wrestle with the fibers of my soul
Have I too quickly reached my peak?
Alleviate all this agony with a pistol.............Please

Melodramatic

Melodramatic, Oh how uncool
Feel the tension within, it makes one drool
Swallow the horse pill down; turn your frown around
Wait a half hour, and you will be flat ass-down

Crawl your way to happiness
Catastrophe can be so disastrous
Cacophony of a love addicted Junie Moonie
Creates a climax where you want to eschew me

Fraught with friction and fright
Let's try this together, hold on tight
Or leave me solo with my jewel encrusted bola
No longer being a hipster's duo

Rump Roast

I'm bleeding grape jelly
Why couldn't you be my toast
You could just sit and linger in my belly
Fuck, I'd even eat you if you were rump roast

Satiate my pain
Wash it down with some tears
My hunger could finally fain
I'll eradicate all of your fears

It's a feeding frenzy
Tuck your napkin in tight
I think this feast is plenty
Oh wait, just take one more bite

Moon of June

Play me my favorite tune
Hide under the covers and never emerge
It's hot out there in the moon of June
Lay here and let our sins purge

Watch you from a distance
And cradle you with care
I'll meet you with some resistance
But I'm no longer in the Devil's snare

Wish for simplicity
Where all was cut and dry
Adore me for my eccentricity
Where I'm the target of your bull's eye

Panic Attack

Hungry but I can't seem to eat
I feel heavy hands against my back
Try to fit into a crowd but I'm too indiscreet
Fuck, here goes another panic attack

Breath in the heavy air
And dream of you there
I watch as people stare
I'm trapped in hell's ensnare

Pick up the broken pieces
Before the weight of the world inflates
I wish this pain decreases
Inhale and wait for our inevitable fate

Tethered

Bitter heart; give it a restart
Bangs sway in my eyes to hide
I look at you and then take my eyes to avert
Have a pithy conversation and in a smile slides

Pull the blinds down and give me some shade
There's an arcade of feelings in my head
As much as I try, my feelings for you just won't fade
Tell me how I can keep my heart fed

Know I'm a mess nonetheless
And you, finely groomed, and put together
I just care about you so much, as I digress
But inevitably I know you will leave my heart tethered

Just Bend

Roll up my life and smoke it away
Inhale the good and exhale the bad
Hopefully my malice will decay
And the high won't make me too mad

Lasso in the sunshine
Wrap it up and save it for a rainy day
Open up the blinds and let in the sunlight
It's time for child's play

Let me drive from the passenger's seat
I can't see where it ends
Hey, there is a hole in the street
Take a left and just bend

Severed Door

Knock at my severed door
Scatter like ants in the rain
I drip sweat out of every pore
And I see your face fraught with pain

Give me a moon bath
And heal me with a sear
I feel the hands of evils wrath
Let me have a life that's plain and clear

My soul is a menagerie of fragility
Withering with the tide
I can't be known for my futility
Keep me in wide stride and cover me to keep me dry

Heaven's Misery

Heaven knows I'm in misery
Watching as my brain wanes away
Crying out for the gods of mercy
Please take me astray

I watch as the cloud cover fawns over head
Strike a match, light a cigarette, and wish for death
I mustered up some tears and watched as I bled
Exhausted from this journey I must catch my breath

All my changes have happened here
But things look bleak and helpless
Just allow me to disappear
I feel like a baby; heart broken and defenseless

This One is for YOU

My memory is stained
I hear you cry for my ultimate revocation
I understand your pained
But do I deserve all of your fucking damnation?

Deem me sexy without knowing who I was
I'm human fraught with demons just like you
Doesn't everyone once in their life run from the fuzz?
Or am I just as fucked up as the other few

I'm sorry I made you cry
And exposed you to my world
The truth is I was selfish, and just wanted to die
Or was it just the way I sat with you while we twirled and swirled?

I don't know if I could ever make things better
The way I use to make you smile with a lick of a lollipop
I left you broken and fettered
I'm so sorry; I just couldn't stop!